It’s Official :(

Well It’s a Official. Daniel called me today and told me he is going to have to go on disabillity. Please pray for me and my attitude. I know he has tried so hard not to but it looks like God has other plans. Most of you know I have been struggling going back to work because I have been a stay at home mom for years. I feel like I miss out on so much now that on what my kids are doing.But I was keeping myself going because with both of us working we were no longer struggling with medical bills and my kids were actually able to do things we could not normally afford to do. So I kept telling myself its for the best.

We will be contacting an attorney to get all the legal stuff going(friend of the family who specializes in this sort of thing) and Daniel wants me to go to dinner with a friend of his and his wife who are going through the same thing. At least Daniel will now get to spend more time with the kids than he used to.

I know that Devil is working on me because I sometimes think of only the bad things going on and most of them are just plain selfish. Like saving up to build a room on to our house. We have always wanted to move but we know we can’t afford it so building on a room would be the next best thing and it’s something we really need.That will probably be put on the back burner now.

Not only that but I have been struggling with losing some special friends lately not because something between us happened but because God was moving them away and starting new challenges for them making it hard for us to make time for each other now that I am working. Its hard to sometimes let those friendships go. Not totally but you know they won’t be like they used to.

I have also been struggling with other issues to .Some I can only give little details about. I have been struggling latley with the way people treat each other. I guess I still live in this nieve world that when you say you are a friend , you don’t just act like it when you are around someone, then pretend otherwise when you are with other people. Sometimes God lets you see things that you don’t want to and I sometimes often wonder why? I feel like lately people have been walking around like stain glassed windows and that God has been allowing me to see things as they really are and they don’t even know it. Because its through their actions, not neccessarily by things they say. It’s so normal to them now that they probably don’t even notice it themselves. It makes me so sad see people treat each other so badly and then not even notice they are doing it. Have we become so thick skinned that the holy spirit can’t prick our hearts anymore? I know I seem like I’m talking more about other people and not myself too but I already know whats wrong in my area’s thats why I am asking you to pray about it LOL I can use all the help I can get!!!!!! It will be a long time before my personal list gets crossed off.

Sometimes I feel like I am talking to myself and thats ok. If it takes posting on a blog just to get me through the day and get me in a better mood before I get home then so be it.

Some people may read my blog and get inspired, some may read it and get mad and gossip and some just may not read it at all LOL.  This is kinda my comfort zone where I can sit back and release whats bothering so I don’t bring it home with me. I really should be blogging more often and I will definatly make it a point!